Another violent night in Toronto

"It was a violent night in Toronto last night", chimed the cbc yesterday morning as patrick whipped up a batch of crepes.
Before the story continued, with stories of two separate shootings at downtown parties.
Before I heard about those sad deaths I thought that maybe:

"It was a violent night in Toronto last night, 400 000 people* watching television witnessed, on average, 14 murders, 106 acts of patriarchal normalcy, 17 displays of hand guns. Overall creativity of a large part of the cities population was under attack."

or maybe:

"It was a violent night in Toronto last night as the city expanded by another parking lot, bringing the total amount of Canada's prime arable land covered by Toronto pavement to 4607 hectares"

or maybe:

"It was a violent night in Toronto last night as 2 million citizens finished another week without taking steps towards living their dreams"

or maybe:

"It was a violent night in Toronto last night as 100 000 high school students, connected through gaming systems, simulated wartime horrors on each other as gun wielding citizens in Assasins Creed, Alliance of Valiant Arms or Call of Duty Modern Warfare.**"

"It was a violent night in Toronto last night... (you fill in the blank)



*Note, all statistics/numbers have been arbitrarily assigned as the author did not wish to research. If you do, please let me know how close my estimates were!
**These are real games. It is my understanding that most 'first person shooters' are military training simulations adapted for public entertainment.